How To Save $500

     Are you part of the "500 Club", meaning in a true emergency you cannot come up with $500? Forget about being a fucking millionaire as we have covered in the first post of this blog, first if you are part of the 500 club, you need to save 500 dollars! This may be no easy task, but in reality, you need a hell of a lot more in savings unless you are living on a farm in South East Asia. You really want to save 6 months of living costs, but I know, that shit is hard, so lets start with $500. Here's some super fucking easy ways to save $500 in no time:

• Change your car insurance, have you been with the same carrier for years? Change it, someone will charge you less.
• Get a cheaper car, you don't have $500 to your name, you should either be driving a POS model car, or should be riding the bus, yeah it sucks, but guess what I still drive a shitty car, and I rode the bus and trains for twenty five fucking years. 
• Stop buying useless shit... this will be another blog post, if not novel on it's own.
• Get a roommate. If you already live with roommates and don't have $500 you are starting to see where the problems are coming from.
• Avoid a few nights at the bar. If you must go to the bar, buy some mini bottles of vodka and sneak them in, you can order soda and mix em up in the bathroom.
• Get an account on italki.com and charge people for English lessons, don't get too excited cowboy, you are gonna be working for minimum wage, but the good news is, you set the hours, you'll find people, $5 an hour, work one hundred hours conversing in English (don't worry you won't need the other language, and if you have it, you can charge more), and boom you have $500.
• Sell useless shit you bought and never use on eBay. You'd be amazed what people pay for on eBay, also try to sell on craigslist since they don't charge commission fees.
• Stop going out to eat so much! Number 1 budget killer, and health wise it generally sucks too.
• Dump your boyfriend or girlfriend if they are costing you money. If you don't have $500 to your name you shouldn't be dating anyway.
• Get rid of cable TV, even better get rid of TV altogether, I'm going on no TV now for 12 fucking years. When I was dead broke living off Costco Mac and Cheese I got rid of TV just to save money, as my salary started climbing, I said, well I've gone without TV this long, lets see how long I can go. Now it's been twelve fucking years and I don't miss that shit at all.
• Get rid of your smart phone. I can't believe how many fucking people say "they need a smart phone." No, you need water, energy, and food. We can live damn fine without a smart phone. Unless you work a tech job or some shit, you are paying too much, get a fucking $20 phone off ebay that flips open and can call and text. When money comes back you can go for the brand new i fuck or whatever phone you think you need, but if your net worth is under $500, you don't need a fucking smart phone. 

These are just a handful of tips I can think of off the top of my head. Your alternatives if you don't want to save $500 is to be homeless, or live with your parents.