What To Do If You Have Just Become Homeless (Single Men)

     You are a single man? You have no children? And you just became or are about to become homeless? This is the guide for you. I can only account for single men as I have no family, but if you have a story you want to share please share with us all. Here are my steps to get you off the street, this will be updates as times and laws change:

• Beg anyone you know for housing till you get back on your feet, should a friend or family member accept you this will be the hardest period of your life, because not only must you get a job and move out, you better damn be grateful and run their house like it is a 5 star hotel, clean non stop, wash their dishes, wake up early and make them breakfast if they eat breakfast. Number one thing you do not take advantage of kindness in any way shape or form.
• Apply for welfare, public housing, public help. These resources will be at homeless shelters and homeless outreach offices.
• You will take whatever job you can get until a better one comes along. You used to make 150k a year on Wall St? I don't care. You will wash dishes or clean toilets, or do whatever it takes now to get off the streets.
• Food: you can ask for restaurants for left overs, I recommend hanging out in the back alleys when it's safe, staff will come out for smoke breaks and you can catch them there. Super markets will also be a good source.
• Be as clean as possible, yes dirty homeless people look more pitiful but people will be more open to talk to you and help you if you look employable. Invest in a razor or beg for one, find out where clothing donations bins are and take advantage. Shower, this is easier said than done, but if you are resourceful you will find a place to stay clean.
• Street panhandling: you will not simply make a sign and ask for money, you will need to entertain to shine above the other homeless people. Don't worry, you don't need to be in Circ Di Solei, but simply juggling apples or playing a harmonica will get you further than all the guys with signs. 
• The shelter will be a safe place to sleep, but if it's not available you will need to find somewhere else where you don't impede business or property.
• Consider alternate housing, once you are making enough panhandling and washing dishes, it may not pay for the lush apartment you once owned, but does a buddy own a trailer or old car that sits in his yard, maybe you can pay him to sleep in something he barely remembers he owns. 
• And most importantly, when you get off the streets, manage your money to never be back there.

Have you been on the streets? What helped you get off? Share in the comments below!